The term “ugly” is obviously subjective: as we know, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. BUT…there are certain things that we seem to agree on as a society that are…unpleasant to look at. First, I want to clarify what I mean by ugly. I don’t just mean how some people think the color yellow is ugly, or don’t like the look of cargo shorts. “Ugly” in this context means items that are truly off-color, unusual, and not worn by the masses. Items that are so off-putting, that only a few people are wearing them. It’s curious that only some people are drawn to the clothing that others turn their nose up to. To explore why this is, let’s break our article up into three points: standing out to belong, rejection of trends, and ego.
The Paradox: Standing Out to Belong
Evolutionarily, the tendency to blend in with the crowd is what aided humanity’s survival. Belonging to a tribe and sharing responsibilities is what allowed the human race to flourish. Those who survived knew how to get along and how to blend in. Alternatively, there was also the need for some individuals to stand out. Someone needed to lead and organize the tribes, villages and societies. Most people blended in, and some stood out.
With the rise of social media over the last 20 years, it seems as though most people want to stand out, but in reality, these people are quite a small portion of the population. A research study done by Michigan State University surveying almost 1.4 million people over the span of 20 years (2000 to 2020) found that “uniqueness was lowest among participants who took the survey most recently in 2020 compared to those in 2000” (Chopik et al., 2024). The desire to stand out seems to generally be declining. We see this in mass produced fashion trends that are over worn by the masses, causing them to die out and new trends to quickly emerge. This can also be seen in cities, where people dress alike. Cities make this especially obvious: in London, you’ll see Nike Tech fleece on every corner, in Seattle it’s beanies and flannels; in Stockholm, Birkenstocks dominate. If most people are blending in more than ever, why does fashion keep getting weirder?
Those who want to stand out need to push the boundaries of fashion further than ever before to top the outlandish fashion we’ve seen up to this point (i.e. Gucci grass stained jeans, Balenciaga’s garbage bag purse, the massive dad sneaker trend, etc.) These people are competing amongst others who also want to stand out; they need to find ways to outshine their competitors.
Individuals who live in the fashion space and dress noticeably different than everyone else want to stand out and feel different, but they also want to belong to the group of people that just “get it.” They want to belong to the sub culture of people who also wear “ugly” clothes and respect others who do the same. They want to connect with people who have the same fashion values as them: people who think outside of the box and are not afraid of being perceived. These sub cultures are the modern “tribes”. Hypebeasts, Margiela Tabi lovers, Moschino fans, Balenciaga buyers, Clowncore community, Goth’s, and so many others wear items that outsiders consider “ugly”…but by doing this, they can easily identify the people that are similar to themselves. Outsider fashion becomes insider core. People love to be part of the in-group. It often seems like there are two types of people: those who want to blend in with other people who also want to blend in, and those who want to blend in with others that want to stand out.
Outsider fashion becomes insider core.
There is a theory in psychology called The Optimal Distinctiveness Theory, built upon previous models of social identity, and coined by Marilynn B. Brewer (1991). The theory proposes that social identity is satisfied when the optimal balance of two opposing needs is struck: assimilation and differentiation. Humans have the desire to belong to a group in order to feel safe and accepted, while simultaneously feeling unique and special. Those who participate in “different” fashion behavior (wearing things that others find “ugly”), strike this balance at a socially riskier level, and must push harder than others to find their perfect balance between fitting in and standing out.
Rejection of Trends
One of the defining features of modern fashion is the rise of short-lived trends and the relentless mass production that fuels them. To cultivate your own unique fashion sense, you must work much harder than those shopping on the high-street or in the mall. Typically, people who are impassioned by fashion and creativity, do not aim to look the same as others who buy the clothes that are produced for the masses. They don’t follow trends, they reject them. This rejection of trends explains why people gravitate toward what looks unusual or even “ugly” – because those pieces haven’t been mass-produced into meaninglessness.
Fashion we consider “ugly”, is really just fashion that is not accepted and produced by clothing conglomerates. It is pieces that are unique and seen rarely. Clothing we deem “ugly” is often just unfamiliar. But, the more we see something, the less ugly it seems. In psychology, this is called the Mere Exposure Effect. It states that “people feel a preference for people or things simply because they are familiar” (Eyupoglu, 2018). I am definitely guilty of experiencing this. When the Tesla Cyber Truck was released, I thought it was the most ridiculous thing I’d ever seen, and could not fathom how people were already pre-ordering. Then, I went back home to Seattle and saw them everywhere. After two months of seeing them daily, I wanted one for myself. Two months of seeing them every day, and I was sold. The truck became familiar to me, and my brain decided it was no longer something “ugly”. (Obviously this does not always apply…I’m looking at you Balenciaga croc heels).
Ego: “I can rock something not many people can”
Wearing something cute is easy, anyone can do it and make it look good. BUT, wearing something ugly, and making it look cute, that is difficult. If you’ve pulled that off, you can definitely pat yourself on the back. If you’re someone who thrives off of external validation, and if you love an ego snack there and again, then approaching fashion in this way, could be beneficial for you.
Say what you will about Freud, but he knew that our egos are always at work. As much as we’d like to believe we don’t let our egos affect our daily interactions and relationships, we do. Freud divided the mind into three subcategories: the ego, the id, and the superego. The id is the “most primitive” part of the brain which is home to impulses and desires, motivating the person to seek pleasure; the ego is the part of the brain that regulates the desires of the id, creating an appropriate outward facing demeanor and the superego contains our morals and societal rules, typically learned from our parents (Lapsley & Stey, 2011). The ego isn’t about vanity or self-importance, as modern language has skewed it to be. It’s like our manager that negotiates our desires with reality. It weighs the desire to wear something daring with the fear of ridicule; taking fashion risks show the ego at work. The id wants us to express ourselves, the superego reminds us that people judge those who are different, and the ego allows (some of us) to decide that the risk is worth it.
The modern ego feeds off of the idea that “I took a bigger risk than you, and I pulled it off”. Further, if this “ugly” thing happens to catch on, and others start to wear it as well, the ego is even more thrilled at the notion of being the first to wear this thing that is now becoming a trend. The ego loves to claim credit, and this is how “ugly” fashion, transcends just wearing an outfit, and enters the realm of feeding one’s self-image of being a “trendsetter”, as most people who experiment with fashion have.
I’m definitely not a stranger to this. I remember when I was in high school. I always liked to dress a bit differently than others, and put time and effort into my outfits. Sometimes I would wear something a bit daring and out of the ordinary. A few weeks or even days later, I SWORE other people were wearing the same thing. As much as my imposter syndrome creeped up on me, my ego also couldn’t help but feel like I did that first. And there’s just something about knowing you’ve done something first that the ego finds sooo yummy.
Afterall…
There’s always a risk in wearing something out of the ordinary. People judge, they make fun of things that are different, and they might not understand the vision. And as a species that yearns for acceptance, this can feel alienating. But, the risk is exactly what makes the reward of pulling it off feel even greater.
“Ugly” fashion might look strange to most people. But, whether its used as a signal of belonging, a rejection of trends, or an expression of the ego, these choices reveal something deeper of how we interact with clothing. What we call “ugly” is often just another way of balancing self-expression, individuality, and belonging.
References
Brewer, M. B. (1991). The Social Self: On Being the Same and Different at the Same Time. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 17(5), 475–482. https://doi.org/https://web.mit.edu/curhan/www/docs/Articles/15341_Readings/Intergroup_Conflict/Brewer_1991_The_social_self.pdf
Chopik, W., Götschi, K., Carrillo, A., Weidmann, R., & Potter, J. (2024). Changes in Need for Uniqueness From 2000 Until 2020. Collabra: Psychology, 10(1), 1–10. https://doi.org/https://doi.org/10.1525/collabra.121937
Eyupoglu, Sevim. “Proximity and the Mere Exposure Effect in Social Psychology”. Neuro Science. 13 July 2018. 02 April 2022. https://www.neuroscience.org.uk/proximity-mere-exposure-effect-social-psychology/
Lapsley, D. K., & Stey, P. C. (2011). Id, ego, and superego. Encyclopedia of human behavior, 2, 1-9. https://maplab.nd.edu/assets/224926/id_ego_superego_encyclopedia_of_human_behavior.pdf
Absolutely loved reading this! It’s so well written and meaningful. Insightful and very articulate — if the right eyes see it, I can easily imagine it being published. Keep writing; some of us will start to understand ourselves better 😍